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What Do You Think Causes Domestic Violence?

by Sabrin

We all know someone or have heard of someone who has experienced domestic violence. What do you think causes gender abuse and why do you think it is so difficult for victims to speak out?


SabrinJan 31 2008 - -

**Below is an excerpt from an article I found that outlines the abuse cycle: According to the Women's Issues and Social Empowerment (WISE) of Australia, the issues of power and control are essential to an understanding of Domestic Violence. "Domestic Abuse occurs in relationships where conflict is the continuous result of power inequality between the partners and one partner is afraid of, and harmed by the other," they say. Build-Up Phase - The tension builds. Stand-Over Phase - Verbal attacks increase. Explosion Phase - A violent outburst occurs. Remorse Phase - You shouldn't have pushed me, it was your fault! Pursuit Phase - It will never happen again, I promise. Honeymoon Phase - See, we don't have any problems! *Source:Women's Issues and Social Empowerment (WISE) of Australia

NeerajJan 31 2008 - -

I agree with the article that abuse always begins with a power inequality in a relationship. What I think continues the cycle (in the beginging)are ideas that prolong the relationship. Ideas such as "at least im not alone" or "I know he loves me, he just has a temper." I don't think that fear of retribution from the spouse sets in until a later phase in which the abused fully realizes the situation that they are in. I think that its important to have resources such as this so that people who are in the early phase of abuse can identify their situation and escape before attachment and fear become stronger forces.

RSFeb 1 2008 - -

Those who knowingly perpitrate domestic violence understand the vulnerable state their victim is in. They know that their victim THINKS they need them in someway whether it be for love or finiancal secuirty or stability in their lives. What we need to do is educate (different from formal education, some of the birghtest people we know end up in these situations) these women so that they can see the situation for what it is and not their closed view after so many years of abuse. I think this is an amazing resource because it's only within our community will they listen to not an outsider, hope you get the support you need in this admirable endeavor.

OutAgainstAbuseFeb 2 2008 - -

Thank you so much for commenting and supporting the forum. I agree with you that we need to have more education and resources for women so they can realize early on how to recognize signs of abuse or control. However, I think it is crucial that we educate men and the entire community as well so they are more aware of the issues, leading to preventive measures stopping such incidents from occurring in the first place.

MinalFeb 5 2008 - -

Insecurity and conditioning? Insecurity...We tend to demand more power when we feel insecure. All of us experience insecurity from time to time, especially when we're in high pressure situations. Some people just don't know how to draw the line. Conditioning...Many communities have spent years putting women down (even if that is not the intention). In many ethnic relationships, it is uncommon for women to make decisions about anything of substance (beyond the home and children), hence, it is rare that a woman is ever seen as an equal. Sad, but true.

I have survivedFeb 9 2008 - -

I agree. It's not women's education but men's that can thwart DV. The sad thing is, though, that most people know that beating a woman is wrong, in public they're probably even very vocal about their views regarding DV, abuse, women's rights, human rights, but in their own relationships/marriages, they're monsters, which makes it difficult for others to identify abusers. At the same time, it makes people doubt the girl in question, if she ever gets the courage to speak up. How do you help such situations? By asking questions. WE, as a group, are very complacent, we value privacy, we let others be because perhaps she's having a bad day. I say, it's better to pry and help someone, rather than abetting her abuser by not asking. When you see a girl walking next to a guy who's obviously angry and you see fear in her eyes, when you see tears spilling over, intervene. Follow them to see where they're going. If they're going home, identify the place, note it down. Keep tabs. Play detective. It's our duty as human beings to look out for one another. I wait for the day when we know that as a woman, we are safe not only on the streets but in our own homes. Ironic, isn't it? That the worst thing that could've ever happened to me had to happen at the hands of the man I loved so much? But I'm not alone. There are many others like me. I have survived. We need to make sure that others do too.

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