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by Sabrin

OAA received the following email regarding a distressing survivor question:


 These are the times I wonder what really makes us to take a step to stop brutal behavior.

This morning I received a call from a frined who lives in a very small town in US, she told me one of her friends were brutally beaten up by her husband – in the presence of that girl’s mother-in-law and guests who came for a Eid dinner. My friend who was not present at the dinner but heard from other pple of this incident was shocked to find out that no one took the girl to the hospital and advised other not to discuss about this, because if the girl were taken to the hospital then it would be reported to the police… and it will give a bad reputation to the handful Bangladeshi pple who live the community. The girl wanted to call the police and pple present in the dinner akes her not to, things will work out, she needs to be patient and pray…

When my friend found out about this incident she requested almost every gilrs who were present at the dinner to report the incident to the police, and the answers were – we hardly know this girl/ we don’t want to upset the husband/she must have done something to upset the husband/ it’s not my business.

So, my friend called me asked to know what should the girl do, here is the situation, she is on a spouse visa, doesn’t work and depend on her husband’s salary, has two children (a teenage daughter and a 5 year old boy), and the beating and shouting has been going on for years, now it seems to be going out of control.

My friend is worried about the girl since the husband beat the wife in front of everyone and no one reported the incident to the hospital/police, he will not stop being violent.



If you are also a survivor or a DV agency/volunteer/advocate, please lend your thoughts, suggestions, and links to any additional resources.

Please be aware that all comments are anonymous but also strictly moderated.


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